Here I Am Still Tangled Up In You <3

You’re my world, the shelter from the rain
You’re the pills that take away my pain
You’re the light that helps me find my way
You’re the words when I have nothing to say
And in this world where nothing else is true
Here I am still tangled up in you
I’m still tangled up in you
Still tangled up in you
you’re the fire that warms me when I’m cold
You’re the hand I have to hold as I grow old
You’re the shore when I am lost at sea
You’re only thing that I like about me
And in this world where nothing else is true
Here I am still tangled up in you
I’m still tangled up in you
How long has it been since this storyline began
And I hope it never ends and goes like this forever
In this world where nothing else is true
Here I am still tangled up in you, tangled up in you
I’m still tangled up in you
Still tangled up in you


Stimming: What is inappropriate stimming anyways?!

Hello, all my wonderful readers and followers!

I am back with another post so pull up a comfy chair and grab your favorite drink to relax because this may be another drawn out, yet hopefully informative post. I am currently enjoying a hot cup of apple cider. It’s so relaxing. Another thing I love to do to calm down or relax besides drinking hot beverages is stimming, which brings us today’s post. So let’s get right into it, shall we?!

For those of you who may not know what stimming is: Stimming is repetitive movements and/or sounds. Everyone can stim to some extent. There are just different variations or needs for stimming. Yes, it is more common in spectrum disorders or sensory processing disorder, but everyone can stim even if they are bored. It is as simple as any kind of repetitive making of sounds, physical movements or other repetitive actions. (Aspie Rude Girl’s definition of stimming. Please let me know if you have a better way to explain my definition as I would love to improve it. I just didn’t want to copy and paste someone else’s definition, as a lot can be described as negative)

Stimming can often be seen or described as a negative thing especially when you look up autism in almost any search engine. Even some therapists of autism such as ABA therapy will try to reduce your child’s need to stim. It is why I try to inform parents to be careful with the therapies they want to try and be careful about what to swallow when it comes to truly helping their child. However, this post is not about ABA or therapy (that is probably a post reserved for another time. Oh how I love coming up with ideas for posts while writing a post. 😃 ) My point is everyone stims which most can agree is acceptable, except when an autistic person is doing it. If an autistic person is doing it is explained as harmful, distracting and so on. When non-autistics talk about stimming I sometimes think their view of stimming is “repetitive movements that make an autistic person look like a weirdo.”

Autistic people stim in all different forms and for different reasons. For those of us who do stim, it is very important that we do and it is not a choice. Often when an autistic person stims it is because of sensory overload or the environment around them is too overwhelming. Stimming is practiced to help them concentrate on one thing and is very therapeutic as it calms them down. Stimming is not something done out of boredom and sometimes autistic people may not be aware they are stimming. It is a natural reaction to feeling frustrated, overwhelmed or whatever negative emotion/state it may be. Since it is therapeutic and something that does help calm us down, it is not embarrassing to me or the autistic person doing it. It is only embarrassing to non-autistics.

When a deaf person uses sign language in public or a paraplegic uses a wheelchair in public and are stared at it is considered rude by most of society. Would you tell a deaf person not to sign in public or a paraplegic not to use a wheelchair in public? I doubt it.

Yet people tell autistics to not stim in public all the time and constantly discuss it in a negative aspect. Time and time again I am asked to not stim in public, witness others being told not to stim in public, I read articles all the time and so on about how stimming is inappropriate. Sorry, ‘some’ stimming is inappropriate, but only if you are autistic of course.

I recognize that some behaviors of stimming can be harmful to the person doing it or maybe to the others around them. A couple examples would be repeatedly banging one’s head against a wall and cutting or burning oneself. Dangerous behaviors can be harmful especially to the one doing the stimming. I am for helping those people find healthier and safer ways to stim yes, but not all stimming is wrong and I am against reducing an autistic child or person’s need to stim. Especially if your only valid reason is that it embarrasses you.

My only explanation I have to why people feel the need to reduce our needs to stim or see it as a bad thing is because society doesn’t like anything different. We are constantly judged on what and what is not socially appropriate. I think it is truly sad how that is, but especially when I am the one being attacked. I am sorry, but I will not stop stimming in public because you have a problem with it. I have already had to break two stimming behaviors as a child because I was told by peers constantly not to do it or because of bullying. If it didn’t still effect me I still wouldn’t remember it or need to discuss it. It doesn’t embarrass me and I am so exhausted from trying to act neurotypical or live up to social expectations all the time.

This post may be subject to change as this was the first post I wrote as a draft without notes on WordPress and not in a notebook or writing program on my computer. It also turned out to be more of a short rant I wanted to really share this past little bit. I may also post kind of a sequel to this post sometime in the future which may focus on my personal ways of stimming etc. ~Aspie Rude Girl

“All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town
I’ll do it ’til the sun goes down and all through the night time
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I’ll tell you what you wanna hear
Leave my sunglasses on while I shed a tear”

More Spamming Of Music and I am almost done my blog post…

From the album I shared earlier, this is my absolute favorite song on the album and I wish it was longer than the one verse.

I am almost done my post about stimming, should be posted within the next hour or so. I am on a roll. 🙂

I am the eye in the sky looking at you I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules dealing with fools, I can cheat you blind

Yeah, my truth is the Ark of the Covenant buried in Ethiopia
Watch when you fuckin’ with a Minneapolis Somalian
When I go home the world I used to know is gone and I will live on my own
For what shall it profit a rapper with creative control to sign a deal with the devil and lose his soul?
My still born first expression is cold
Like the faces of slave masters on the paper I fold
Subliminal racial supremacy chokin’ me quick like the bedtime stories of Joseph Smith
Lynch mob gunnin’ for me trynna murder my seeds
Shorty put him in the Nile in a basket of reeds
And now I stare in to the future with a spiritual flashlight wondering who the fuck was me in a past-life
Bad diet, fuck raw, die young, fast life, same as a crash flight that took off when the music died on your last night
Tell em’ the truth and they call you a traitor
Talk to em’ honestly and they call you a hater
Losin’ my composure cause the message is urgent
Talkin’ reckless drunk on the mic like Larry Merchant
Cursin’ at the serpents, Sumerian demons
Who brush their wings against the air that I’m breathing
A heathen with nothin’ left to believe in even a reason from livin’ that was forgiven by God and not religion
Envision Jesus risen from the dead like Horus in the Baptist church shakin’ off the rigor mortis
The borders should be illegal instead of the people that were here before the bible and all of its sequels
I speak to the detached and unrealistic that were born normal but turned socially autistic
We resisted Homeland Security’s mission because I know what they really envision…

[Chorus x2]
I am the eye in the sky looking at you, I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules dealing with fools, I can cheat you blind

One of the deepest songs I have ever heard…

In my opinion, this is not just one of the deepest songs in hip hop, but music in general. For it’s depressing story and lyrics. Although this song is based on a fake story (I saw an interview where Immortal Technique discussed it, some of is true, but not the ending as he took it to the extreme to get a better point across) I don’t think this song can just relate to drugs, awful things like sexual abuse and so on, but the greed of humankind and the danger it causes. It is one of the many things humans struggle with and we need to change that attitude.

Another few songs in a genre I rarely cry too or can’t even relate to, brought tears to my eyes the first time I heard the song.

Immortal Technique is in my top five of favorite undergound hip hop artists for his aggressive, conscience, talented lyrics and his work outside of music. He is really inspiring I think.

If any of my followers are interested or even enjoy some hip hop, especially conscience hip hop. If you appreciate free music. Imo this is one of Immortal Technique’s best albums in his discography he released it for free to his fans. I was taken back as it is a very well done album, production and lyrically. The time it was released I thought it was the artist’s best album at the time. I was taken back he was given it to his fans for free and didn’t ask for a dime. But Immortal Technique is more about revolution etc than music. It is one of the reasons I highly respect the dude. Here are a couple songs from the album, I will share the link to the whole album on youtube and in case you want to download it a safe downlable link to get it. (Again, he put it out for free these are not links from fans or people who hacked his album links etc. Lol)

The first song on the album and one of my favs. Get’s me pumped and wants to revolutionize 😛

Another powerful song on the album, however if you listen to the album this song may confuse you of Immortal Techniques view. I was confused the first time I hear the song, it took a few times around to figure it out. Tech raps from the 1% perspective in this song, not his own. Those who control us, control the world’s wealth etc.

My personal favorite collaboration on the album

I’m like the birth of baby Mohammed, the movement I started
Can spar with the hardest, the martyr regarded as Spartacus-hearted
It doesn’t matter whose missiles can shoot the farthest
When you’re a target in an Afghan Tutoberg Forest
Close quarters combat over corrupted elections
Bilderberg is like cancer, it grows an infection
Nepotism is the gold and the conductor’s connection
And ignorance is the prison that the people are kept in
The military ain’t there for the people’s protection
They’re just there to protect an investment
That’s why people get arrested, electrocuted, molested
Connected streets are infested with those tired of protestin’
Traumatized children grow to guerilla garrisons
9/11 generations pale in comparison
And you will learn a lesson repeated through history
That no matter what you think, occupation is not victory

Youtube Link to the full album:

If you want the album through the safest link as it is through his stuff. (You have to create an account however, but it’s free. You just choose rather you want Mp3 or cd, and add it to your cart. It is free and you will not be charged for the account or the album)

I am sure you can google other links and get it through somewhere else, I just suggest being careful if that is how you go about downloading music.

I am off to binge listen to Immortal Technique and then do some chores. I am working on another post that will hopefully be posted sooner than later. I will give you a little hint of what it will be about: Stimming

Hope everyone is having a great week! Bye for now. 🙂

I have seen too much addiction in my life and how it can ruin people, not anymore.

Alcoholism, depression and addiction is very strong in my family, especially my dad’s side of the family. It is probably the reason why I have a very addictive personality and yes battled depression most of my life. Alcoholism, in particular, has ruined my life (not personally) just having it around me. If I take a sip of alcohol a weird thing hits me, like I have the alcoholic gene and if I gave into it I could have became an alcoholic very easily. I think I never became an alcoholic because I have seen it destroy loved ones and the damage it has caused me in my life. At times I refused to see I was abusing other things, tobacco included. Well not anymore, I need to break that cycle. I have found ways to work on my depression, mental health and have found at least coping mechanisms when I am not as happy as I wish I could be etc. Now it is time to kick the last addiction. Hopefully people in my life will either be inspired by it or at least be truly proud of me.

Anything can be an addiction people, food, drugs, exercise and or anything. Healthy or not too much of anything is wrong and bad for you. (Well cigarettes, heroin and all that stuff isn’t healthy even once a week, but you know what I mean. haha) Even a glass of wine is healthy for you, but there is a differenc between having a drink to relax or with dinner and being an alcoholic. You need balance, the challenge is finding that especially for those with addictive personalities.

Every thought that I repent
There’s another chip you haven’t spent
And you’re cashing them all in
Where do we begin. To get clean again
Can we get clean again
I walk home alone with you
And the mood you’re born into
Sometimes you let me in
And I take it on the chin
I can’t get clean again.
I want to know, Can we get clean again
The God of Wine comes
crashing through the headlights of a car
that took you farther than
you thought you’d ever want to go
We can’t get back again
We can’t get back again
She takes a drink and then she waits
The alcohol it permeates
And soon the cells give way
And cancels out the day
I can’t keep it all together
I know…I can’t keep it all together
And the siren’s song that is your madness
Holds a truth I can’t erase
All alone on your face
Every glamorous sunrise
Throws the planets out of line
A star sign out of whack
A fraudulent zodiac
And the God of Wine
is crouched down in my room
You let me down, I said it
Now I’m going down
And you’re not even around
And I said no
I can’t keep it all together
I know, I can’t keep it all together
And there’s a memory of a window
Looking through I see you
Searching for something
I could never give you
And there’s someone who
understands you more than I do
A sadness I can’t erase
All alone on your face

Song of the evening and how music has always saved my life

I have quit many things in my life that I have struggled with, but nicotine is and will be by far the hardest addiction and habit to break. I am writing up a rough draft for my new quitting smoking playlist. While I was researching ideas for songs about addiction and to help me through this hard time I came across an artist and song I forgot about. The only time I ever watched a music reality tv show and kind of stumbled on by accident as I was eating dinner with my parents in front of the TV. I was instantly drawn into this man’s talent and story. So that season was the only reality tv series I ever really watched, because I am normally against reality tv and don’t think music is a fear factor contest tbh. Anyways here is his audition and this song will be featured on my playlist. 🙂

Minus his couple original performances of songs on the Xfactor, this was my favorite Chris Rene performance. (Although it was kind of his original remix and he did it in his own way. I love how people judged it. Chris Rene was one of the only artists that season to do the performances his own way and his own take on it. That is MUSIC. It is why I don’t suggest this is the way to make it in the industry. Of course the little miss pop pretty princess won yet again. So stereotypical and predictable. I wanted Chris or the very talented rock artist to win. Neither did, one came in second and Chris in third. Luckily it didnt stop either and I haven’t heard anything from the pop princess since. Thank God. And that is why this was the first and only time I gave reality tv a chance. )

“let’s do hip hop week and see what Drew does”