I promised I would write about being in a relationship as an aspie so I figured a great way to start my blog would be to document my weekend with my boyfriend and share some tips on how I balance my relationship and down time to reset myself for the new work week. In fact this weekend was a great example as it was my birthday Friday and for a lot of people on the Autistic spectrum spending time with family after a 7 hour work day can not be so easy always. It being the end of the week I was really tired and anxious the last few hours at work so when I got home I simply explained to my boyfriend that before we do the whole family dinner and cake thing I wanted some down time. Because of my living situation which I will discuss more another time it is especially important that I communicate how I feel and when I need time to myself because I probably don’t get as much lately as I need. That is not however my boyfriend’s fault at all, and I am very lucky he is understanding and respectful of my need for down time. So yes a big tip and one of my biggest pieces of advice I can share from my experience of being in a relationship is to make sure to communicate with your partner you need time for yourself or do your own thing before the melt down comes and that it is important your partner is understanding of your needs. After dinner we had a quiet evening and watched E.T (my idea) before bed. On Saturday we slept in and then had a very relaxing day I watched netflix, played games, listened to music and he nerded out on Xbox then after he took me out for dinner as part of my birthday gift. I lucked out that where we chose to ate was surprisingly not packed at all, as I really don’t like crowds and can lead to breakdowns faster than I like. After we went out for a lovely dinner we went for a nice drive came home and I expressed again I wanted a few hours to just chill again then before bed we played Xbox. On Sunday I got excited to start my blog and listened to a lot of music which brings me here pretty much. We did spend time together today but again it was doing very quiet activities including cuddling in bed and even taking a nap. As discussed and I don’t know if this will help everyone on the spectrum but it works for me is that I can spend a lot of time with my boyfriend if they are quiet activities that sometimes don’t include a lot of talking, like I really love when we just lay in bed and he rubs my back it does help me relax as much sometimes as sitting and listening to music would or just doing my own thing. My weekends include a lot of down time and unfortunately not very exciting because of the hours I have to put in at work right now and my living situation but I know it won’t always be like this and hey it works for me so I can’t really complain too much. To sum it all up my advice is to communicate your need for alone time, but to also find ways to balance it out to spend time with your partner cause they have needs too.
I will probably be posting a lot of music on my blog so I figured why not start the habit now.
The One ~ Kodaline